As a wedding photographer, one of the most common questions I get from couples is whether they should do a first look or wait to see each other at the ceremony. It’s a deeply personal choice that can significantly impact your wedding day timeline and experience. Let’s explore both options and address some common concerns I’ve heard over the years.

Understanding the First Look

A first look is a private moment before the ceremony where the couple sees each other for the first time on their wedding day. It’s carefully orchestrated in a quiet location, allowing for intimate reactions and genuine emotions to be captured without the pressure of an audience.

The Case for a First Look

More Time Together

One of the most significant advantages of a first look is that you’ll spend more time together on your wedding day. Instead of being separated until the ceremony (which might not be until late afternoon), you can share most of your day together, starting from early afternoon.

Relaxed Photo Schedule

By doing a first look, we can capture most of your formal photos before the ceremony:

• Couple portraits in multiple locations
• Wedding party photos
• Family formal portraits
• Detail shots with the couple

This means you can join your cocktail hour and spend more time with your guests instead of taking photos during this time.

Calmer Nerves

Many couples find that seeing each other before the ceremony helps calm their nerves. You can share your excitement, exchange private words, or even give each other gifts without feeling rushed.

Better Light for Photos

As a photographer, I can’t emphasize enough how valuable it is to have more flexibility with timing for portraits. If you are getting married in December and are planning for a 4:30 ceremony, the sunset will have set by the time your ceremony is done. If you are dreaming of golden sunset portraits, that won’t be possible. There are many options for lighting if this is the case and we will still produce beautiful imagery, but it won’t be sunset golden hour.

Common Myths About First Looks

“It Will Ruin the Ceremony Moment”

This is perhaps the biggest concern I hear, and I can tell you from photographing hundreds of weddings: it’s simply not true. The ceremony moment remains incredibly special and emotional. Why? Because walking down the aisle isn’t just about seeing each other – it’s about the music, your loved ones watching, the gravity of the moment, and the beginning of your ceremony. I’ve seen plenty of tears and emotional reactions during ceremonies even after first looks!

“It’s Not Traditional”

While it’s true that first looks are a relatively modern tradition, remember that many “traditional” wedding customs are actually quite recent innovations. What matters is choosing what feels right for your celebration.

The Case for Waiting Until the Ceremony

Traditional Romance

There’s something undeniably magical about the traditional moment of seeing each other for the first time as one partner walks down the aisle. If you’ve always dreamed of this moment, that’s a perfectly valid reason to wait.

Building Anticipation

The separation before the ceremony can create an exciting build-up of anticipation that some couples really enjoy.

Immediate Family Reaction

Your first sight of each other will be shared with your closest family and friends, which can create a powerful communal moment.

Alternative: The First Touch

If you’re drawn to the tradition of waiting until the ceremony but still want to share a private moment together, consider a “first touch.” This beautiful alternative allows you to connect without seeing each other – you might stand on opposite sides of a door or corner, hold hands, exchange letters, or say a prayer together. These moments are incredibly intimate and emotional, providing beautiful photo opportunities while preserving the anticipation of seeing each other at the ceremony. Some couples even choose to do a first touch with their parents or wedding party members, creating meaningful pre-ceremony moments without breaking tradition.

Making Your Decision

Consider these questions:

• How do you envision spending your wedding day?
• What matters most to you: private moments or shared experiences?
• How important is having more time at your cocktail hour/reception?
• What time of day is your ceremony, and how might that impact your photo timeline?

A Note About Timeline Planning

As your photographer, I’ll work with you to create a perfect timeline regardless of which option you choose. If you opt for a traditional approach, we’ll carefully plan family and wedding party photos for after the ceremony. If you choose a first look, we’ll create a relaxed pre-ceremony schedule that allows for plenty of time for photos while still maintaining the excitement of your day.

The Bottom Line

Both options can result in beautiful photos and meaningful moments. What matters most is choosing what feels authentic to you as a couple. Don’t let anyone pressure you into either option – this is your day, and it should reflect your values and vision.

Whether you see each other for the first time in a private moment or at the end of the aisle, I’ll be there to capture the genuine emotion, joy, and love of that special moment. Your wedding day will be beautiful either way, and I’m here to help you make the most of whichever tradition you choose. If you’re looking for a laidback photographer to put you at ease in front of the camera, I’m your girl! Let’s chat!

Remember, there’s no wrong choice – only what’s right for you.